BFF

I think I invest too much into friendships because the feeling never seems to be reciprocated. Granted, I relied too much on him to just be there. I knew that he was getting serious with this girl and I knew that once the fall semester started that I wouldn't see him as often. I just didn't think that all of this would come up on me so fast... and not right at the moment that my birth control is kicking in and I am completely fucked in the head as far as my hormones. So, Friday night wasn't pretty. Basically, I got ditched for the new girlfriend. I told him I didn't want to meet her, but he sulked until I gave in. So, I pouted and he went off on me. It was ugly and many things were misconstrued and as much as I tried not to, I cried, I yelled, he yelled and then she called asking where he was and he left. And that was that. I came home and cried to hubby because I just can't understand why I always put my heart into a friendship. I had a friend that fucked with my feelings for almost 20 years. I don't know how to have a healthy, close friendship, and its fucking sad... and pitiful. Here I am, 33 years old, and I can't have one fucking best friend; someone that I can just count on. Maybe I ask and want too much, or expect the same investment that they just can't give. I don't know, but it sucks.